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I know it's petty and dumb, but I still get a little annoyed about the overuse of the word "grail" on pkmncollectors. I see people say they've been seeking their grail for "weeks" or "a few months," and oftentimes it's an item I've seen for sale many, many times. Sometimes it's even something that came out recently, sometimes even something available on Sunyshore, and often it's just something uncommon at best, or something more expensive than the person can afford at the time.

I don't think it's ever worth bringing up on the community or to the users misusing the term (in my opinion); it's a pet peeve, and bringing it up would be unnecessarily nitpicky and pointless. Who am I to say what an item means to someone? I also understand that a collector's ideas of what constitutes rare, expensive, etc., change a lot over time, and most of these people are newer collectors, or younger members who don't have jobs, or people who have never even ventured on to Yahoo! Japan. So, in a way, I'm understanding, and I'm not really judging them. But, it still annoys me a bit.

I guess it's just because I sought my grail for years (and here I'm referring to the Umbreon Pokémon Mini strap, though my other major grail is similarly rare). It only popped up a few times ever, despite feverish and very detailed modes of searching (many Japanese search terms, looking through lots, even searching by the release date, misspellings of the Pokémon's name, searching foreign Ebay sites). I spent countless hours looking for it. If one disappeared, it would be years until I would find another. To me, a grail is something that is so rare, or gets away so many times (not because it pops up that often, just over time), that you start to wonder if you'll ever get it. So, maybe it doesn't exactly match up with the term "holy grail" used in a non-collecting sense, which literally may or may not exist and there are only legends (though, those kinds of things exist in collecting, too, like Growly's Growlithe plush search), but at least it's closer.

I get that grail is a dramatic word--people want to be searching for their grail, meaning their highest want. If you're a new collector, you go look on Google at your favorite Pokémon, see something you love and want, and say, "THAT is my grail!" It's fine; I don't hold it against them, because it's silly to for something so petty. But, it does sort of cheapen the word for those of us who have sought an item for years, searching and wondering, "Will it ever pop up again?"

How do you all feel about it, if you have an opinion?

AAAAHHHH LJ is back! It only chose the WORST POSSIBLE TIME to crash, seriously.

I found out yesterday that Yoko Kanno is going to be at Otakon! Therefore, I also will be going to Otakon, and spending my whole time being frantic and crazy about Yoko Kanno. If I can meet her and get her autograph, I will be happier than words can say! That's #1 on my life goals, so...I'm thrilled by the prospect that I may be able to make this finally happen. This will also be my first out of state convention. I was totally freaking out last night, and I've calmed down a little now, but still very excited and nervous. I'll be rooming with kirarakim, which I'm looking forward to very much! I've wanted to meet her for a long time, and I think we will get along great IRL.

I can't help but be paranoid about getting an autograph, though. I'd really rather spend the night in a line and be more or less guaranteed an autograph, than have to gamble on lining up just shortly before the event. That said, I've only missed out on autographs that I really wanted once ever, so I think/hope it'll be all right. Guaranteed I'll be a nervous mess, though.

I'm sure I can make it work financially, though it makes me feel less like I'll be able to go to Japan this year. I'll definitely be trying for both, but Otakon is a must. I am a little concerned about getting work off for all the time I need to get off for July and August, though--I just hope I can find a way to make it work. I suppose I can drop some of the smaller cons I was planning on going to if I have to, though if I can go to all of them, that would be amazing.

Also, someone on Tumblr is wanting to buy a bunch of my Pokémon merchandise. This is great news, but I can't help but be just a little nervous about people who have hundreds to spend on arbitrary Pokémon items, just because how many people have the budget for that? That said, she doesn't seem suspicious... If it works out, that'll be great! I remember a few years ago someone bought $400+ of items from me just before Fanime and that went very well, so you never know. I spent a few hours today arranging and photographing stuff, which needed to be done anyway (not the photographing but the arranging) for Swap Meet.

Carrying it all to Swap Meet is going to be quite a task, though. It would be easy, except that carts are banned and you can only make one trip, due to union restrictions. (My mom and I have a cart for moving animal feed.) So, I just have to figure out a way that I can carry this all by myself in one trip, without a cart.

I have lots to do before Fanime--by this time next week, I will be at the convention! I have plenty to do on my panel, and of course I have to pack as well. I'm excited, and trying my hardest not to fixate on Yoko Kanno rather than be excited about Fanime. Fanime will be lots of fun!

I've been drawing Gen VI Pokémon today~! And the other day I did some Mystery Dungeon drawings as well. I also have some other drawings to be colored when I feel up to it.

http://pacificpikachu.deviantart.com/art/Onward-Mighty-Steed-371367404
http://pacificpikachu.deviantart.com/art/Yayakoma-371303854
http://pacificpikachu.deviantart.com/art/Mystery-Dungeon-Sky-Time-Darkness-Tribute-370365747

I'm really glad that I've been forcing myself to draw lately, though it's always difficult with my motivation problems. The only thing is, while I'm drawing I feel pretty good about my art, and then afterwards my confidence seems to go up and down and up and down. My art gets some attention (and sometimes a fair amount), but not tons of it, and while I'm not really drawing for attention, it does make a good motivator. I don't now, I guess it's just the same old artist issue everyone has--I wish I was a better artist! There's nothing I can do about that except to keep drawing, though.

Now that I've started drawing, I want to keep drawing more, and I have a few requests I want to finish but I've got to be careful because Fanime is coming up fast and I have plenty of prep to do for it! I have an entire panel to put together, and while I'm somewhat started, I need to actually get working on the presentation itself. And, naturally, now work is going to be busy this week. Go figure, when I'm already feeling a bit like I have too much on my plate.

Giant Shinykarp arrived, and he is getting lots of love on Tumblr, haha. Well over 2000 notes just today! Well, he is marvelous, so I can't blame the people for loving him. I know I do! I tried to get a picture of him with my cat, but none of them turned out any good. He's so soft and gigantic and amazing! Part of me wants to bring him to Fanime, but I know that would be the dumbest idea ever because he is MASSIVE and I have to drag all my insane amount of Swap Meet stuff in addition to my usual con over-packing.



The duck eggs got taken by rats or something (and Rue kind of lost interest in the eggs the last few days as well), so no ducklings this time around. :( I'm a bit sad, especially because the eggs were maybe a week or so from hatching, but...nothing I can do about it now. Rue freaked out as soon as I tried to contain her so hopefully nothing would happen if ducklings did hatch, so if I had moved them somewhere safer she may not have stuck it out anyway.

So, I think all four of the new Pokémon are great! I keep trying to think of something more thoughtful to say about them than just GREAT AND CUTE AND LOVELY, but that's really all I feel about them, haha!

Yayakoma is soooooooooooooooo adorable! Collecting? Well, I collect all the birds a little, but definitely, yes! I can't wait to see what it evolves into. It is so darling, I want to stare at it forever and give it kisses and snuggles. :>

Gogoat has a really cool design, and I'm glad we finally have a goat Pokémon! Also, the fact that you can ride it in the game is awesome. It reminds me of a Miyazaki design a little for some reason!

Yanchamu is such cute little naughty panda! I'm glad we finally have a proper panda Pokémon, and finally another fighting-type that I actually like!

Elikiteru is very cute, too! I wonder if that's a headband it has on, rather than ears? Either way, cutie.

I could hardy be more pleased than I am! So far, Gen VI is amazing. There isn't a single one so far that I dislike, and many that are flail-worthy. :D Welcome, new Pokémon, I will be doing fanart of you ASAP!

I'm also excited that we can FINALLY customize our trainers, even just a little!

(Also, GIANT KARP has arrived, and he is splendid! I'll take some pictures after I've rested from work for a bit!)

Nooo, I LOVE all the new Pokémon and want to do art of them and celebrate and discuss with everyone online, but it’s crazy at work today. ;____; Just gotta make it like…five more hours, orz.

Gen VI is shaping up to be totally amazing so far, I must say!

Anyway, more once I survive this deluge of mail entry and thank yous and crud and make it home.

I had a dream this morning that my Fanime panel went terribly! It was a frustrating dream while dreaming it, but thankfully the trepidation/anxiety didn't carry over to real life much, other than wanting to get working on it.

In the dream, I arrived at the con at 11 AM on the first day, and they (the staff? I don't know) asked if I was ready to give my panel. I was kind of freaked out, because a) I hadn't finished it yet, and b) the panel wasn't supposed to be for another few days? But, dream me just went with it.

Every technical thing went wrong ever, though. The PowerPoint was being weird and was woefully incomplete, I kept having to go back because none of it was doing what I wanted it to, I kept saying the wrong things and having to start over, the microphone was going in and out, the computer was way up amidst the audience, so I had to run up there (it was in a theater with graded seating) every time I had to adjust anything on the computer, and so on. These delays went on for more than an hour, and then some guys interrupted the panel and I think some of Rocky Horror Picture Show played? I don't know, it was a silly dream.

I got package 1/3 from Gin, yayy! Shiny Beams patchwork Pikachu, subby, Umbreon dot sprite keychains, and a Thunderstone/Pikachu keychain. They're all quite lovely, but I'm waiting to take pictures until BIG KARP and my other big Gin package arrive. I suspect BIG KARP might be here tomorrow, but we shall see.

I've felt better today than yesterday, but I went shopping with mom and now I'm really tired and a little bit aimlessly grumpy. Oh well, going to bed soon anyway.

It's time for me to start working on my Fanime panel! I can use some help, f-list, seeing as most of you are in the Pokémon fandom, too.

What the panel is basically about is weird innuendo in Pokémon, canon material only. I'm looking for mostly sexual innuendo, rather than dark/creepy material (because I could easily do an entire panel on nightmare fuel, but think innuendo will be more amusing and surprising to people).

I have the anime pretty well covered, and I have all my 4koma books that have tons of material, and Toshihiro Ono's manga (which has a lot to work with by itself, ha). What I'm mostly looking for is screenshots from the game with strange things NPCs say that could be taken as innuendo (I know quite a few of these exist, just gotta find them) or anything else from the games, and if anyone is familiar with Pokémon Special, if there's anything in particular in there. I have the Tentacool bath thing already, haha.

It would be best if you have the image or can find me a link to it, but if not, I can maybe try to find it myself.

If anyone has other suggestions or ideas, I'm open to hearing them as well. Thanks guys!

I'm DLing anime at the moment, so my connection is slow, otherwise I'd reply to people some more. I'll do that later this evening once the downloading has hopefully completed.

Anyway, obviously I'm really happy about how the grail thing went down. I still can't believe I'll be getting it! That leaves me with only one major grail: the giant Lapras plush. (To be honest, I'd like any of the giants really, though. I don't know if I'll ever get any, but I guess you never know what'll happen.) I ended up going to sleep at 1 PM because I was so tired from getting up at 7 AM to watch the auction end, and didn't get up until 5:30 PM. Guess I was really tired.

On the anime front, I'm ten episodes in to Tiger & Bunny. It's a fun series! I'll hopefully watch more of it tonight. I downloaded Sword Art Online as well despite hearing mixed reviews for it. A few of my good friends really loved it, while a few other of my friends didn't, but, meh, it's a fairly popular series and I might as well try it out. I'm currently DLing Shinsekai Yori. It was a very spur-of-the-moment decision to watch it, based off a gif set on Tumblr. Anyway, hopefully I'll finish all these series and maybe more before Fanime. The more series I've seen, the more I feel I enjoy conventions because I'm up on what's going on in anime fandom, haha, and can recognize more cosplayers, art in the artist's alley, and it's helpful for discussions as well. Of course, watching anime is its own good end by itself anyway, because I love anime. :P

Aaaaand, Umbreon grail is not lost after all! Good thing I posted to the community about it! espie had a different grail in the lot herself, and she offered to sell me the Umbreon strap! Yayyyy! ♥ So, now we're both getting our grails. I'm so happy and excited! ♥ I'll still have to pay a decent amount for it, but not the full auction cost. :D

Ahhh, I'm in disbelief!

Well, that's the end of it. The awesome auction with the Umbreon Pokémon Mini strap (and a ton of other great stuff) went up to 48,500 yen, and I folded. I could probably go higher, but I just can't justify it to myself, even this month. I just can't believe someone else still wanted it that much. It ended up being the cha******* bidder, so I might see it on the community. It'll be a little sad for me to see. This is the 4th time I've lost this item over a period of quite a few years. I'm just hoping my day will come--sooner rather than later, preferably. I hope the next one that shows up is MIP, too.

In a way, I'm slightly relieved, because, let's be honest, I'd rather not pay upwards of $400 for it. I mean, I would have, if it hadn't gone up to nearly $500, but...I'd rather get it when no one else notices it, and it just kind of slips under the radar. It will be a great day when that happens.

But, really, I'm sad again. I felt so sure that it wouldn't get away from me yet again. I'm not devastated or crushed, but disappointed? Yes.

I'll be fine, though, don't worry. I just really really want it for my collection! ; A ;

I'm pretty sure the stupid company I filled out my tax return with didn't even transmit it to the IRS. :| I never received an e-mail about it, I haven't found a single record of it on any look up I've done, and on top of that, the site I used has overwhelmingly negative reviews. I used a site that the IRS itself linked to so I assumed those sites would be effective, but apparently not.

I'm petsitting now, so I don't have access to my W2 for now to do TurboTax instead. I'll do that tomorrow, I guess, assuming I can even remember where I put my W2 (it's around, but finding paperwork can be difficult at times).

Ugh, sometimes I feel like I can never catch a break. That's not true, I've been very lucky with some things (just not in the past few years, haha), it's just a stupid feeling, but I can't help but feel that way sometimes.

FYI, everyone should avoid free1040taxreturn.com.

Swimming Anime is going to be a real anime! I'm so happy! :D

I'll probably watch it even if it's dumb, but I'm hoping the writing/plot/characterization will be halfway decent. It being KyoAni, I don't think I have to worry about the animation! Of course the preview doesn't look as AMAZING as the CM, but no one has the production values to make a whole series like the CM, haha, so I wasn't expecting that anyway. Also, Mamoru Miyano will be in it!

I can't believe how butthurt some male anime fans are getting over it, though. Guys have an ENDLESS amount of fanservice shows to choose from, and yet they whine and whine because KyoAni is making ONE series aimed at female fans? You don't see me, or any female fans really, whining every time a new show aimed at guys comes out. The sexism and sense of entitlement is amazing. If you don't like it, don't watch it! Don't whine and cry about it like the world is ending, geez. I've watched a ton of KyoAni series aimed at guys, I'm even a big fan of some of them, and you don't see me getting all upset each time they announce more and more "cutesy girls and moe~" series, even when that's a lot of what they make. Anyway, the sexism implications are pretty complex and deep-rooted, but I won't get into it because I have to get ready for petsitting.

Man, I have been even more exhausted than usual the past few days. I don't know if it's because of my SF trip, or because I have some little virus or something, or something else. Anyway, I had a weird dream this morning. I normally write about my dreams in notebooks lately, but since I have my computer handy, I might as well write out what I remember here. Contains suicide, if that upsets you.

( Weird dream. No need to read it if you don't want to, it's just for personal reference.Collapse )

Ahh, I'm tired from the last couple of days! They were a lot of fun, though. :D

( Cut because this is long.Collapse )

And, now it turns out that one of my Tumblr friends, who I've talked to a bunch about chickens (and she's into anime, Pokémon, cosplay, etc. as well) lives within a half-hour of me! Ahhh, I'm so happy, and really hope that we can actually visit each other sometime! It's so rare to find someone into chickens and fandom to begin with, much less someone close by.

Today is ending up being a good day, though I was a grump this morning. :D

I almost hit a deer tonight on the way to dad's house, ahhh! She jumped right out in front of me. I literally tapped her back legs when I stopped, and she went running off. Thankfully, neither of us was injured. I would feel horrible if I killed or injured a deer.

I also submitted my taxes, so now I feel like a cool person. It wasn't as hard as expected, and I'll be getting back a decent amount of money! I hope I get it before the end of the month for PokéCen stuff. If not, though, it's okay.

My panel has been confirmed for Fanime! Yay!

Poké-Scandalous
Sunday 3-4 PM, Panel 3

I'm really excited to run it, and hope it'll go over well! I'm glad all the compiling I've done won't go to waste! I am going to ask for help on it, though, from all my friends in the Pokémon fandom--I'll make a separate post for that sometime soon, maybe tonight or tomorrow. (Don't worry, it's the fun/easy kind of help!)

I plucked up the courage to go talk to the neighbors, and they were surprisingly civil about the chicken issue. So, at least now they know I'm working on the problem, and I know their side of the story, too (it turns out they're downwind from the chickens, hence why it smells worse to them than to us). I gave them my phone number so we could keep in touch, too. I assured them that I'm working on the problem and apologized multiple times for them having to put up with it.

Anyway, now I feel quite a bit better, and just have to keep looking for solutions to the smell issue. I have several ideas, so I think things will be all right, ultimately--especially now that we're almost out of rainy season, which is when the problem is way worse.

Still don't feel the best about everything, but I do feel much better. Remind me why I put things off and let them fester, again?

Made it to the credits today in PMD:GTI. Ah, yes, I teared up a few times... It's really a wonderful story, and I hope there's lots more to it post-credits, because it feels like that first arc went by so fast. (Maybe that's because I've played it within the space of a few days.) Not going to spoil it for anyone, but like Explorers of Sky, it's really emotional and wonderful. I'm excited to see where it goes from here.

The music is wonderful, too. ♥

Pen-Pen had passed away when I arrived home from work. Very sad. Very sad about all the animals I have lost. Just doing my best to stay positive. I did what I could for him. At least he was on the heating pad when he passed away. I miss him. We were so, so close when he was a baby. I can't believe he and Eugenie are gone so suddenly, like all the other animals I've lost these past few months. I loved every one of them, and I miss them all.

When I'm emotionally hurt, no matter how it looks like escapism, amazing stories are what help me cope. I don't know how to live without storytelling, without stories, without characters, because without them, the real world just seems too bleak sometimes. Stories give me hope that somehow there is meaning, there are reasons for things happening, that simply living is strength and that we all have to do our best, no matter how much life hurts sometimes.